It’s Okay Not to Be Okay

Sometimes I wonder how often people lie when they are asked how they are. It is so much easier to just say you are okay, to say that you are fine. It is also easier to just pretend and fake that you are okay. Half the time you doubt if they are being genuine when they ask, or if it’s really just an effort for small talk (I hate small talk). And even if you believe those four words “How are you doing?” are laced with sincerity, you don’t want to bother anyone, anyway. I don’t want to bother anyone. I don’t want to be that person. You know that person. They never have anything positive to say. The instant they walk in a room or join a call, you can just feel the mood drop, so my response is always, “I am okay.”

It is a fine line, really. I am 100% guilty of rolling my eyes when the same guy on Facebook complains about the same things daily. I also begin to avoid people, even friends, when their negativity becomes overwhelming. Maybe that’s my fear. I don’t ever want to play that role in someone’s life. With those I am closest to (let alone those I know only casually), there is that quiet whisper in the corner of my mind that I should just say “I am fine.”

I know I am not the only one. It makes me wonder who else is pretending under these self-imposed false pretenses. It makes me wonder who else is exhausted by it all. We fit ourselves in these boxes with carefully cultivated personalities and how we present ourselves on social media, even to our friends. We’re the funny ones. We’re the silly ones. We’re the good time ones. We are everything, especially the ones who are “all right.”

I used to believe that the greatest thing anyone could do is to somehow leave their thumb print on the world. I revised that later because I felt part of the weakness of the human condition ultimately was our desire to leave our thumb print on someone’s heart. Maybe my current mindset is to blame, but from a philosophical perspective the one thought that courses through my mind right now is that “It’s okay to not be okay.”

Clothes & Things

  • Hair – Doux – Chris
  • Top – Cold Ash – Raphael Shirt
  • Watch – Deadwool – Blue Moon
  • Rings – RAWR – High Roller Set

Decor & Things

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